Making wishes...

Anti-versary

My one-year "Anti-versary" has come and gone. A year ago, I was given the unique opportunity to start my life over again. Thinking back, it was the most heartbreaking, painful, and scary situation that I've ever gone through. Everyone would say things to me like "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger", "You'll be so much better off...", and the one that I heard the most often was "I'm so sorry." I got so tired of hearing that - I know that everyone was trying to be nice and they didn't quite know what to say or what to do. It was awkward for everyone.

I was given an option. I could let my situation define me as a person. I could be known as the sad girl whose husband left when she was six months pregnant because he had an affair. How. Very. Sad.

I chose not to select that option. I picked myself up, broken and tear-stained, and forced myself to put one foot in front of the other. I know it sounds admirable, but really I just didn't know what else to do. I've always been a relatively "obedient" individual, so I just gave myself rules to follow. Get out of bed when the alarm clock goes off. Shower, get dressed, and put on makeup. Go to work. Fake a smile. No other options. Thankfully there was a little angel named Ruby who helped me get this accomplished as well. Ruby became the center of my universe. She was my happy-place. I know that I was being a good mom by comforting her and meeting all of her needs. But the thing about it is, she was the one who was unknowingly comforting me. I would nurse her and tell her how fabulous her life would be with me. After a while, I found myself starting to believe it. I officially had a new best friend.

I bought my perfect little dream house. All by myself. This house has become so special and important to me - it not only serves as proof of my independence and success, but it is a home for Ruby and me. It is a happy, warm, loving home where we are safe and we know that nothing that happens within these 4 walls will ever be more than either of us can handle together. Buying this home has also brought me closer to my family at a time in which we all needed it. My dad was battling Stage 3 cancer, and my mom was supporting everyone else around her emotionally and physically. God doesn't make mistakes. This situation brought us together and I'm now closer with my family than I've ever been before. Ruby certainly hasn't hurt the situation either - she's not only the center of my universe, but of my parents' as well. And I'm quite certain that she knows it. I have an incredible, yet challenging career, and I honestly enjoy every single day of it. I was able to re-prioritize, re-focus, and have enjoyed several professional "wins" along the way.

Life handed me lemons. I busted out the salt and tequila for a little while, enjoyed that, and am now savoring the most lovely lemonade ever.

So, you might ask, how is Jaedeanne different than she was a year ago? I am happy. Not fake-smile, periodically happy, but genuinely and truly happy with every aspect of my life. And I'm more proud of myself than I've ever been. I know what a strong, smart, independent woman that I am because I was able to prove it to my biggest doubter - myself.

However, I've recently noticed some other changes that aren't quite so conspicuous. I'm now a contingency planner. I can literally count on one hand the number of people that I trust. Not that I necessarially dis-trust others, just don't be offended if I have a contingency plan that involves you. I was in a situation where the one true, certain thing in my life blindsided me and then kicked me when I was down. Do that to me once, shame on you. Do that to me twice, shame on me. So now I contingency plan.

Yes, I've been on dates. I have found that I am now unable to hold hands and snuggle - it makes me feel too vulnerable. So now I'm thinking that I should stop considering having a boyfriend and start work on marketing proposals for a corporate sponsorship. That seems more my style right now. If you, or any corporations that you know are interested, please feel free to contact me directly.

Another thing that I've noticed is that I very rarely cry. The only thing that I can relate it to is a chef who is constantly cooking in the kitchen, burning his hand repeatedly, day after day, year after year. After a while it stops hurting and he eventually gets to a point where he doesn't even notice it. However, the one thing that will bring me to tears every time is if I really stop to think about and feel the love in my heart for Ruby. But they're happy love-y tears and I don't mind them at all.

But the biggest change in my life is that I'm probably one of the best moms in the universe. It coincidentally works out well because I have one of, if not the best daughter in the universe. God had good planning on this one. We're a great team. No one makes me smile bigger, laugh harder, hug longer, or try harder than she does. I said it earlier - she's my angel. I can't imagine my life without her and I am so incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to share this adventure with her.

So, happy Anti-versary to me! Jaedeanne, you're pretty incredible. Well done.

Spring is here!

The last weekend in March we took Ruby to the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens to snap some pre-Easter pictures and so that Ruby could see the butterfly exhibit. She had such a great time! The gardens were absolutely beautiful and Ruby had a great time running around and making friends. We had a big group with us that day too - my granny was in town from New Mexico, and my aunt, uncle, and cousin were here from Oregon. Ruby had quite the entourage that afternoon!

I feel like I say this all of the time, but Ruby has quite the little personality. She is officially the funniest person that I know - her comedic timing is spot-on. She is learning a ton of new words every day and it's cute to see her point at something and say the word. She's getting good with her manners too - she will say "Thank You" every time you give her something! Such the little lady.

And yes, her hair is REALLY this curly! The back has a lot more curls than the top, but my mom says that is exactly how my hair was when I was little. Ruby is lucky that she has a pro on her team to teach her how to manage this mess. :)

The Triplet's Baptism

Ruby and I attended the baptism of the triplets today! In the picture above, left to right (I'm pretty sure) is Jackson, Adelaide, and Carter. They were such sweet little angels all day long. After the ceremony, there was a reception over at Lindsay & Paul's house. Here are a few pictures from the party. It was great, as always! Check out their blog - the link is on my list - "Hat Trick". They are the sweetest babies ever and Ruby is so excited to have her three friends in the neighborhood! She also got to spend some time with Hazel, who is Andrea & Robbie's beautiful baby girl. Ruby had a ball at the party - talking to Norman (their pug), opening & closing doors over and over again, and doing whatever she needed to do to ensure that she was the center of attention. She is such a little ham!

The best friends I could ever ask for!

Ruby doing some Quality Control checks on the Trio's bouncy seats. She's such a good helper!

Mommy and Ruby - cute picture, but I didn't realize that her hand was down my shirt... Sorry! :)


Hazel, Ruby, and Addie - BFFs!

Winter Wonderland

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard about the record-breaking 12 inches of snow that Fort Worth got a few days ago! We've been enjoying our winter wonderland from the cozy confines of our heated home. Ruby likes to look out the window and yell "No! No! No!" (she's not good with the S's just yet). My parents stopped by on Thursday afternoon and we bundled Ruby up and took her out in the backyard to play. I built her a mini-snowman, which she didn't enjoy nearly as much as I did. She loved the snow! Well, for about a minute and a half. Then she was done. I'm really happy because it sounds like the snow will stick around for a few more days - it is so beautiful and really makes me miss Colorado. We've been really lucky that our power has stayed on - the neighbors across the street have been without power now for a full day. Hope you love the picture of my little snowbunny as much as I do!

Ruby can read!!!

It's official - I have a genious baby. At 13.5 months old, she can read. Well, we haven't exactly gotten into War & Peace or anything just yet, but she's completely getting the hang of the Baby Einstien Alphabet books. There is one board book for each letter of the alphabet (see the previous video of how much she loves the letter D) - I highly recommend them to any parents out there. She's to the point where when I hold a book up, she says the letter! She doesn't have all of them down yet, which may be a function of how tricky some of them are (W doesn't exactly roll off of the tongue), but she can say about 12 letters so far including A, C, D, E, G, I, J, and O. When we read the T book, there is a page for "toothbrush". Yesterday I turned to that page and didn't read it out loud to her. She looked at the word and then reached for her toothbrush! She can also recognize the words for clock and banana. Genious baby.

Ruby can run now, which may be one of the cutest things ever. She's not the most graceful little thing just yet, but it is darn cute. Her hair has also really decided to grow in the past few weeks. It's straight as a board on the top, but curls in the back. My mom said that my hair was like that as a baby too, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she gets my curls!

Well, I'm reluctantly posting some new pictures. They were all taken with my iPhone, so they're not quite "professional" quality... You can still see how stinking cute she is though!She's entirely too cool in her sunglasses. She loooooves wearing them, but stumbles around like crazy when she has them on.

Sorry for the lack of make-up. Ruby and I were matching in this picture, so I thought it was cute. :) Just look at the one on the left!

Ruby is ONE!!!

Happy Birthday, sweet baby!

Ruby turned one on December 22. We had a fun birthday party out at Nana and Grandpa's house that evening for all of Ruby's weekday friends - she and Nana have quite the busy social schedule during the week. Ruby had a ball and enjoyed her cupcake!

I had my birthday party for Ruby on January 9th - we wanted to wait until after the holidays were over. It was such a perfect day! Ruby was a little smiley angel and had so much fun playing with all of her friends. I think that I learned the physical capacity of my house - we were crammed in there! It meant the world to me that so many of my friends were able to make it to Ruby's party. I can't believe how lucky that I am to have such amazing friends.

My best friends surprised me that night with a birthday party to celebrate my 30th! We went to Times Ten Cellars in Ft. Worth. I was SO surprised and so happy to get to spend some more time with my friends! I love you girls so much! Thank you for making my day perfect

Ruby's Second Christmas

This was Ruby's second Christmas (officially), however, this is the first one that she's actually been able to enjoy. I brought Ruby home from the hospital on Christmas Eve last year, so she was much more concerned with the eat/sleep/poop routine at that time than the Christmas festivities. Ruby had a ball this year! She was such a good girl with the Christmas decorations and loved to look at our tree. Yes, all of the gifts under the tree are for her. No, she's not spoiled at alllllll! :) We had Christmas Eve at my house, and then spent Christmas day out at my parent's house (after the roads cleared). Ruby got to experience her first White Christmas! I hope that she doesn't begin to think that every year will meet her expectations for one....we do live in Texas, after all. She was fascinated by the snow and spent a lot of time looking out the front window at the winter wonderland. Granny was also here for Christmas, so Ruby had a great time playing with her. No one reads books quite as well as Granny does - I even found myself getting into the plot of "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See" when she read it. We got another special 4-generation picture together. It was such a special holiday and it was so wonderful to spend such good quality time with my family. I am so very blessed! Hope that you enjoy some of our pictures. Counting down the days till next Christmas!

Ruby's first time to visit Santa!

Over the weekend, we took Ruby to Sundance Square in downtown Fort Worth to visit Santa! I was a little nervous about how she would react - she's always been so good with strangers, but lately has been getting a bit skeptical of them. We bundled her up over her little Christmas dress because it was a bit chilly. Luckily, there wasn't too much of a line. Finally, it was Ruby's turn to sit on Santa's lap!

Checking out the jolly old man....

Nope, we're done.

But her mood quickly turned around once she realized that Grandpa was taking pictures. She's such a ham!

It's Christmas Time!

I decorated the house for Christmas right before Thanksgiving. I just couldn't wait! Everything looks so festive and cozy, and Ruby just loves looking at the Christmas tree. So far, she's been really good about not touching it. I have a few strategically placed bells on the lower branches of the tree to give me a heads-up if there is a little elf in there.

This is what I love to see on her face - she's so happy all of the time! We sing Christmas songs when she's eating (I've found that the easiest way to get her to eat anything is to distract her with some animated songs - and no, I won't be posting video of that!). I can't wait until Christmas morning so that she can open her presents. I'm entirely aware that there's a likely chance that she won't want anything to do with the gifts themselves, but will be much more excited about the paper and the boxes. Whatever makes her happy!

Hope that everyone is having as much fun "fa-la-la"-ing as we are!