Concerts in the Gardens

Every summer I am finding myself becoming more and more thankful for things in my life. I've mentioned it before, but I am beyond thankful for my amazing friends. I am so thankful to live in such a fantastic city that has so many fantastic cultural events and that we live in a neighborhood that is almost walking-distance to the majority of them. And air-conditioning....I am thankful for air-conditioners......holy Texas heat.
Our dear friend Kayleb recently accepted a position with the Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra, so we have gotten the opportunity to attend a few Concerts in the Gardens performances, which are held at the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens. It's always been a favorite summer-time activity for me and I was excited to get to share it with Ruby. Ruby, Me, and Kayleb at the Old 97's Concert - super excited that Kayleb was able to join us for the performance!


Saying that Ruby "loved" Concerts in the Gardens would be a drastic understatement. That is all this girl has talked about for the past several weeks. Most of our conversations go something like this:


"Mommy, remember the concert with all the muuuuusic.......and all the laaaasers.........and all the coloooorrrrrs.......and all our friennnnds.........AND THE FIREWORKS?!?!?!?!"


"Yes, Ruby, that was so much fun, wasn't it?"


"Mommy, it was so fun and so beautiful and so music-y. Can we go again tonight?"


Dancing the Night Away

Ruby has attended two performances this year - the first one was the music of John Williams (i.e. Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc)performed by the FWSO, and the second one was the Old 97's Concert. For each of them we had a VIP Table and valet parking (thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou Kayleb!). Ruby loved both of them, but really had a ball during the symphony performance. She was imitating the conductor - and had everyone near us cracking up! The girl has got some rhythm!!!

Future musical prodigy? Most likely.....


With Tom, who is totally normal, I promise.

Ruby, Me, and LeeAnne ("Lee-Lee")

Silly Ruby, sippy-cups are not for Cabernet!

We had such a great time! Hoping that we will be able to fit in a few more concerts before the season is over! Fireworks during the finale

Mini Summer Vacay

Visiting family on vacation is always so much fun! We just got back from an extended weekend in New Mexico. Land of Enchantment. And just for clarification, "Enchantment" is clearly synonymous with "dusty" "drought" "dry"....well, you get the idea. The poor state hasn't seen a drop of rain in over a year. Fires all over the place. I was shocked that I hadn't heard about the drought and/or the fires on the news - and then I remembered that I don't watch the news anymore......

Thankfully, most of the places that we went in New Mexico were just as beautiful and special as I remembered. My family would summer in Ruidoso every year, so I've spent many a school-free day swimming, hiking, horseback riding, picnicing, and frolicking in the mountains and deserts of New Mexico. I was beyond excited to take Ruby back to where I had made so many fun memories.

We started the trip on Thursday evening after I got off of work, and we drove to Artesia where my Aunt and Uncle live. Driving at night with a toddler was genius. The little angel slept the whole way. Score one for me. And then the next morning at 5:47am, Ruby woke up well-rested and excited to take on the day! "Let's go exploring! I want a banana! I want to watch Dora! No, Little Einsteins! I don't want the banana any more! Raisins! I want Raisins! Why are you sleepy, mommy?!?!?!" Score one for Ruby.


After a pot and a half of coffee, we drove to Alamogordo, where my Granny lives. Granny's house is one of my favorite places. First of all, Granny is probably the nicest, sweetest, kindest, most loving women in the entire world. She gives the best hugs, and is always SO EXCITED to see you (even when you're shaking from the caffiene high you've been on all morning and your bladder is about to explode because you didn't stop after the 1.5 pots of coffee).

SUPER GRANNY!

We swam at her community pool for a while in the afternoon. I'm not sure how it's possible, but that pool has been shrinking over the years. It was HUGE when I was 5. Pretty big when I was 10. Good sized when I was 15. And a whole heck of a lot smaller now that I've had the 3rd anniversary of my 28th birthday. But it was just as fun as I remember. And I'm pretty sure that it was huge to Ruby.

After a long nap with Ruby (thank you, sweet baby Jesus), we loaded up the family, grabbed a picnic, and headed out to White Sands National Park. If you've never heard of White Sands before, you need to google it now. I'll wait.... This place is so fantastic! I remember always having picnics out in the dunes, burying each other in the sand, looking at the stars and the full moon. It truly is breathtaking.

The next day, we drove up to the mountains of Ruidoso. We visited some old friends and more family, did a bit of shopping, and ate lunch at one of our old favorite restaurants.
Later in the evening, we went to a wedding reception for a dear friend. The reception was held at her parent's mountain ranch and was just beautiful. During the summers when I was little, I spent so much time there that I practically felt like that was my second home. She and her little brother would take me out to play in the creek and pick fresh mint (where I would be terrified of the possibility of seeing a snake), teach me how to jump horses (where I fell off and sprained my wrist), roast marshmellows on a campfire at night (where I was thisclose to being abducted by the ghosts on the ranch). Those two were a lot tougher than I was. But we had a great time and made some great memories. Now we're all grown up. I was happy that Ruby got to play in the same creek that I did (until I remembered the snakes), and she picked some fresh mint for me. I think she liked it just as much as I did.
The next morning we had a breakfast picnic out at White Sands, per Ruby's request. It is amazing how HOT it gets during the day, but how cold it gets at night. The air was already starting to heat up, but the sand was still nice and cool. Ruby had such a great time playing.


That afternoon started our long trek back to Home Sweet Home. Overnight spent at Aunt & Uncle's, then on the road again in the morning. It was a terribly long drive, but the vacation and time spent with family was worth every second. I wish we could get up there more often....

Fun day at the zoo!

On Saturday morning, bright and early (had to beat the crowds), Ruby and I loaded up and went down the street to the Fort Worth Zoo. We are so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing zoo close to our neighborhood!

Ruby absolutely adores the zoo and this Saturday was no different. She had a perma-smile on her face the whole day - well, until it was time to say "bye-bye" to the zoo and ooohhh, those tears were real.

She's already talking about our next trip, which she had mentally scheduled for today. She was none-too-pleased when she realized that I was off to work instead. It looks like a season pass is a purchase that will be in my immediate future. Ruby and the Meerkats. She kept asking where Diego was. Note to self: don't let Ruby watch quite so much tv.

Ruby explaining to me which giraffes were the mama ones and which giraffes were the baby ones. She's quite the subject-matter-expert.

Ruby and the "ew-wa-pant"

Ruby loved watching the jaguar. She made me take about 10 pictures with her and the jaguar. And she screamed "Mrow Mrow!" at it the entire time.

At one point, I believe near the hippos, Ruby was so incredibly excited that she broke out into a spontaneous dance.

Outside the Museum of Living Art (MOLA). Such a cool exhibit. I knew this could've gone one of two ways. Either Ruby would leave crying and terrified after seeing the animals and bugs inside, or I would.....


Ruby was quite impressed with the big "croc-e-dyle". But more impressed with the turtles. She asked if I would let her get in there to hug the turtles. Nope, sorry kiddo.

She makes my heart so happy.

Arm's Length

*Deep breath*

I feel like I need to give an apology to pretty much everyone that I know. I've recently realized that I've purposfully been distancing myself from you. Family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances. And I'm not sure why, which is the most frustrating part.

I've been keeping people at an arm's length from me. When I feel like someone is getting close, I back further away. I make excuses a lot about why I can't do something or why I can't talk.

Granted, a lot of the time the excuses are valid. Keeping a 2.5 year old from destroying my home can be a full-time job sometimes. As angelic as she looks, I'm pretty sure that Ruby-issued-destruction wouldn't be considered an "Act of God" by my insurance company....

Other times I rationalize the fact that I rarely return phone calls by thinking "Oh, I have to pay some bills," "I'd really like to listen to this thing on the radio," or "This laundry isn't going to do itself."

When I do actually talk to my friends or spend time with them, I try incredibly hard for that to be "quality" time. But I've noticed that I tend to guide the conversations towards relatively neutral topics like what our kids have been up to, how work is going, and if they watched Glee last week because OMGmyDVRhatesme&didn'trecordthewholething.

But some of my close friends - the ones who feel like they're the other half of me - notice that I'm pulling away and call me out on it. I get all defensive and inevitably end up asking what their plans are for the upcoming weekend, or something along those lines. Deflection.

Even though I feel like I'm running a zillion miles an hour when I'm with Ruby (clean, play, clean, cook, play, clean, diapers, sing, clean, eat, dance, clean, etc.) - that's really the only time that I feel like I'm at peace. When things get quiet - when she's fallen asleep for the night - that's when I start to feel panicky.

If you know me, you know that I'm a very scientifically-minded person. Everything can be explained, one way or the other. Which is why this has been bothering me so much. I can not, for the life of me, figure out why I am pulling away and why I feel so unsettled.

Maybe it's because if I keep everyone at a safe distance, there's a less likely chance that I'll get hurt. Again. Who knows. It's probably some sort of defense mechanism that would make sense if I had time to read some self-help book about it. But y'all....I'm so excited when I have time to do something like even take a shower, books aren't even on my radar.

So, for whatever reason, I'm sorry if I've made you feel like I don't care or I don't want to spend time with you. I do want to spend time with you and I do care. A lot.

A friend from college, I literally haven't seen her since then, told me last weekend that she reads my blog because I inspire her. That floored me. I feel so incredibly honored that I've inspired even one person out there to be a better parent.

Ruby is my happy-place - the thing that makes me want to be a better person. She is my inspiration. If you have kids in your life, I can only pray that they are your inspiration as well. There's not a whole lot better in the world than banana-and-milk-scented kisses as you're walking out the door to go to work to give you motivation to do what you have to do.

I hope that some day she can see me as the role-model that I want to be. I want her to see me as a strong, independent, successful, loving, faithful woman. But I'm scared that I'll teach her to guard her heart too much. I'm scared that she won't be willing to take those necessary risks in life.

Maybe it is time for change......

Bluebonnets

Grandpa took these pictures on a beautiful spring day in Texas. They make me smile.

Wheeeeee!!!!!

Springtime in Texas

I took Ruby to the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens the other day with one of my best friends, Tom, who is a really fantastic photographer and also a dancer with Texas Ballet Theater. He took some great pictures of Ruby enjoying the beautiful weather.

I love this sweet girl more than anything.

The weather has been beautiful, so we will enjoy our spring by walking to the park in our neighborhood, grilling for dinner just about every night, shopping at the farmers market and pretty much spending every minute of daylight outside. We hope that you have a fantastic spring too!

Time makes you bolder...

Today is my 2-year anti-versary. This one kind of snuck up on me, unlike the last one. I've decided that I'm going to celebrate rather than mourn. We shall see how that works out throughout the day. This past year has been solely focused on me and Ruby. I chose to remove all of the other accoutrement that had been cluttering up my life. And it has been glorious.

I have officially been on zero dates in the past year. Zilch. Nada. And I couldn't be happier about it. This has given me time to strengthen relationships with my friends, rebuild my damaged self-esteem, and spend every waking minute that I'm not at work with my little munchkin. You know what? I really like my life just the way that it is. I get an entire closet to myself - how could this possibly be bad? I don't anticipate this situation changing any time soon. Like they always say, if it ain't broke.....

Ruby has grown up so much in the past year - she's now using words like "treacherous," "constellation," and "dramatic," which is pretty hysterical to hear coming out of a 2-year old's mouth. She keeps getting cuter every day. Seriously - I don't know how it is possible. The best part about it (selfishly, I'll admit), is that I don't have to share my time with her. It's all mine. I love it. We make quite the little team.

In the past year, I was laid off from a job that I loved and was incredibly passionate about. It was sad on both sides, but a business decision is a business decision. The biggest blessing was that I found a new position that happens to be much closer to home with an animal health company. It is working out really well and I'm enjoying learning about a different side of the industry.

I've grown tremendously in my faith over the past year. It's amazing what God can do in your life if you just let him. I realized that he probably had a better idea of how everything was supposed to work out than I did, so I quit trying so hard and focused more on praying. That was a good decision.

So, although this past year wasn't quite the dramatic roller-coaster that the previous ones had been, it was perfect. Sure, it had challenges, because come on - this is life. But the challenges were easy to take on with Ruby's hand in mine. I am so proud of how strong and confident that I have become - and Ruby is a lucky girl to have a super-woman as a mommy.

After writing this post, I've decided that today isn't my anti-versary. Today is the 2-year anniversary of the purchase of my sweet little home and the 2-year anniversary of the start of my life.