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Monday, September 8, 2008

Back to Zero.

A lot has happened over the weekend. More than I had hoped for. I've not only lost the one single pound that I had gained, but I'm actually down 4 pounds. I have a Dr's appt. tomorrow, so hopefully she'll be able to ease my mind a bit. I've been having trouble keeping down any food at all and have been fighting off panic attacks.

Damian decided on Friday that he didn't want to stay with his wife and his unborn baby girl. I truly thought that the other woman was out of his life all together, but it turns out that she is not. He moved all of his stuff out in a matter of hours yesterday. I love that man with all of my heart, and I always will. I hope that we will be able to get through this terrible process in one piece and that he will uphold his promise to be there for me and Baby Ruby.

I know that this is for the best. I keep telling myself that I'll be better off. But I feel silly ever giving him a second chance, silly for trusting him again, and very silly for falling back in love with him. The one thing that I can say is that I can go to sleep every night knowing that I gave it my all. I have no regrets. I know that God doesn't make mistakes and that He doesn't give us more than we can handle. I am so very blessed with so many things in my life - my family and all of my beautiful friends, who I can't thank enough for being there for me. Say a prayer for me and my sweet baby girl today - we need all that we can get.

6 comments:

Teresa said...

Oh sweetheart, I am so sad for you - but you are strong. You will be a great mother. If you ever have any questions or need a long-distance shoulder to lean on - I am here for you. I have been through some of what you have been through and I can relate. It's the hardest thing you will ever do - but right now you need to EAT and focus on being healthy for that baby girl. She will be the best thing that's ever happened to you. I promise.

Ashley and Bryan said...

Everyone is praying for you and little baby Ruby Catherine.

God Bless,

Ashley

Rob and Sarah said...

I love you and I am thinking about you. Ruby is a lucky little girl to have you as her mom.

aprildttu said...

J,
So sorry to hear this. What a damned shame! I love you two very much, and hate that this is happening to you. Please try and stay as healthy as you can, which is much easier said than done with what all you are going through. I love you tons girl! And I am very excited to meet this new one in three months! KLove, Crazy A

Allison said...

Damian is a liar and doesn't deserve you. I'd caution the tramp he's seeing to not let him around her children, he's a pathetic excuse of a "father", and does not respect women or family values. ok, done with that. Jae, you are smart, beautiful, and will be a wonderful and protective mother. I'm so proud of you and love you very much. You will raise a strong confident daughter :)

Kippy said...

Jaedeanne, I'm just heartbroken for you and your sweet baby girl. Please let me know if there is anything, ANYTHING I can do for you. I love you sister, even though I haven't seen you in ages!

Love to you and your bump!
Kippy