Back to Zero.

A lot has happened over the weekend. More than I had hoped for. I've not only lost the one single pound that I had gained, but I'm actually down 4 pounds. I have a Dr's appt. tomorrow, so hopefully she'll be able to ease my mind a bit. I've been having trouble keeping down any food at all and have been fighting off panic attacks.

Damian decided on Friday that he didn't want to stay with his wife and his unborn baby girl. I truly thought that the other woman was out of his life all together, but it turns out that she is not. He moved all of his stuff out in a matter of hours yesterday. I love that man with all of my heart, and I always will. I hope that we will be able to get through this terrible process in one piece and that he will uphold his promise to be there for me and Baby Ruby.

I know that this is for the best. I keep telling myself that I'll be better off. But I feel silly ever giving him a second chance, silly for trusting him again, and very silly for falling back in love with him. The one thing that I can say is that I can go to sleep every night knowing that I gave it my all. I have no regrets. I know that God doesn't make mistakes and that He doesn't give us more than we can handle. I am so very blessed with so many things in my life - my family and all of my beautiful friends, who I can't thank enough for being there for me. Say a prayer for me and my sweet baby girl today - we need all that we can get.